


oh, come on, just say something

by vinndetta



Series: universe jumping [3]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Angst, BACK AT IT AGAIN, F/M, HERE I AM, Heavy Angst, M/M, again its a vague ending but what can i say, im just Like That, implied polyamorous thoughts, introspective, oh boy, still not happy sorry y'all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 04:33:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16906167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vinndetta/pseuds/vinndetta
Summary: The search begins.





	oh, come on, just say something

**Author's Note:**

> title credits:  
> undo  
> by transviolet
> 
> hi everyone! it will make much more sense if you read the first part of this series. the second part is supposed to be nice and with a happy ending. but you don't have to read either of them i guess; no one's forcing you to
> 
> (note: if there are mistakes, sorry! i wrote this at 3 am. just tell me and i'll fix it! love ya)

Arin Hanson doesn't know anything about New York. He's been here a couple times, but all those visits were short and usually for concerts. He did a couple of fun things, but he's not familiar with the labyrinth of busy streets that interconnect with each other endlessly.

He probably should have thought it out before getting on the next available plane to New York.

-

_Let's see, if I was Leigh Daniel Avidan, where would I be?_

Arin asks himself that question over and over, but he knows that his brain doesn't know how to answer that question.

He used to think he knew practically everything he need to know about his friend Dan. Spending six years of their lives together, especially with five of those being co-hosts on the same internet show, sort of guarantees a pretty strong bond and understanding between anyone, really. They were best friends, as they've said on the show so many times ( _but you know you wanted more_ , his brain chides as he mentally tells the voice to shut up).

He thought he knew Dan Avidan, but this was absolutely unexpected.

He felt that Dan had been acting weird, but he didn't think much of it. Stupid, he thinks to himself, stupid! He thought that his friend would say something if it became a serious issue, but now he's gone. He had waited, hoped that it would pass by eventually, that Dan would go back to being himself, or that Dan would reach out for help, for whatever it was, because he knew he'd do anything for Dan, absolutely anything-

( _But now he's gone, and you did nothing about it, you stupid, selfish bastard._ )

A blur of unfamiliar faces passes by, and Arin feels like his head is about to burst from the over-stimulation.

-

Arin's sprawled out on the hotel room's bed, memories drifting in and out of his head of tours.

He remembers that Dan likes to flop onto beds, pretending like he's a little child, bubbly and bouncy. He can almost hear the cackling laughter coming from Dan after Brian makes some snarky comment. He's drawn back to all the times that Dan and Ross prank each other, and even the times they teamed up to prank everyone else. 

Dan, Dan, Dan. That's all that's running through his head. 

_Dan, oh, Dan, where did you go_?

He's gone, and Arin can't help but feel as if there's something that's wrong, something that he needs to talk about with Dan. If he finds Dan (no, when he finds Dan, his brain interrupts), they need to have a serious talk. About what, who knows, but Arin hopes that he can open up to his best friend, at least.

In Arin's mind, he thinks that Dan left because there was some underlying issue that either he can't deal on his own and didn't want to bother anyone about... or Arin's a part of the issue. They've been best friends for years, so Arin can't even think of anything they couldn't bring up with each other.

_Where are you, Dan? Let me find you, Dan, come on..._

-

Suzy knows.

She's sent him a text, reading simply, " _please update me xoxo miss you._ "

(The subtext reads, " _find dan, then we'll all talk._ ")

He hasn't told her about his feelings surrounding Dan, but he knows that his wife is a very intuitive woman. She's smart enough to have figured things out on her own. He loves her, deeply and truly, beyond comprehension.

He feels her acceptance and encouragement through the phone.

How lucky is he to have a significant other who understands that he's been thinking about opening up their relationship to a very special person?

-

He found a map in the hotel lobby that morning, intending to use it in his quest. 

If only it were that easy, because the usage of the map seems to confuse him even more. It's better than walking around aimlessly, but there's just so much ground to cover that he's not sure where to even start.

-

Why did Dan leave?

That question makes Arin want to break down and start crying, but it won't leave him alone anyway.

What possessed him to leave? This wasn't like him at all. There was usually a reason, and Arin would probably be the first to find out if he wanted to go somewhere. Dan wasn't much of a vacation taker, but he did like to travel sometimes, whether it's to visit family or friends. But Arin always knew when Dan was going to be leaving, even for a short amount of time. Dan was the kind of person to mention that he's leaving about a month in advance. 

That's one of the things he loved about him, the way that he's always so kind and courteous. It was at first something that he hated, but it was something that had happened due to his deeply rooted insecurities. Now, Arin thinks that it's endearing. It was one of the many things that made Dan have a special place in Arin's heart, whether it had been intended or not. Dan would always be one of the most important people in his life.

How could Dan leave him like this? Was it something Arin did? No matter how many times he thought about it, analyzed the last couple of months, or turned over the situation in his countless times, it never made sense to him. Dan wasn't exactly an open book, but he was pretty willing to open up to Arin when things got really tough. Arin always tried to be there for Dan whenever that happened, but for some reason, this time, whatever happened, Dan had decided to close himself off to even his best friends.

Maybe Dan found out. Maybe Dan realized that Arin was feeling a certain way and thought that it was disgusting, that he didn't want to deal with it.

No, that's ridiculous.

Not many people know about his sexuality, but Arin wasn't exactly straight. He wasn't sure how to feel about it, but he knows that Dan's his special guy. Was it love? He didn't want to say it was, but he's afraid that it might be the case. Was it? He's not sure anymore, his feelings muddled and confused. Did he want that with Dan? Was it too obvious? Were his feelings badly covered up?

No, even if Dan knew, he'd never been homophobic before. He's never expressed discomfort with the LGBT community, so Arin doesn't think it's that.

Still, the possibility lingers in his mind.

-

It's been five days.

Arin doesn't know why he took this impulse trip to New York without any sort of plan. He knows that he can leave at any time, but he doesn't want to give up hope.

 _What if today is the day_ , he thinks to himself, _what if today is the day that I find him and then I stupidly go home before I can do so?_

-

He's on the bed when something occurs to him.

Debra. Avi. Maybe they know something.

He's not sure why this hadn't occurred to him in the beginning. Maybe he was going to visit them (he knows this isn't true, based on the seemingly final farewell that he writes in the letter he leaves behind). More likely, Dan might have told them what he's doing, or the reasoning behind said thing, or maybe they'll have a better idea of what's going on in his head.

-

Debra picks up on the second ring.

-

Arin starts to cry only seconds after the phone call ends, leaving tears on one of the big fluffy pillows on the bed.

No one knows where Dan Avidan is.

And that frightens him to the very core, to the very deepest part of his soul.

-

_Where in the world is Dan Avidan?_

He can't spend forever here, Arin reasons with himself as he boards the plane. As much as he wants to stay here, it's been almost a week and a half. He doesn't know what he's going to do when he gets back to his home, the Grump Space, where everyone is ( _everyone except Dan Avidan_ ).

_Oh, Dan..._

There's nothing. No response. There's dozens of unread text messages, about two dozen missed calls, and no notifications in his e-mail. There's no Instagram updates, no Facebook updates, nothing.

It's like Dan Avidan disappeared from this universe, getting trapped in another universe.

Arin shakes his head, brushing off the stupid sci-fi theories.

-

Flying over the Midwest, Arin looks down through the window, wondering about the future of Game Grumps, NSP, Starbomb...

But, most importantly, he wonders about his friendship with Dan Avidan.

**Author's Note:**

> hey! if you read this, thanks! kudos/comments are always appreciated. <3
> 
> i'm @vinndetta on tumblr, and you can support me on ko-fi with the username "vinndetta" (as well)
> 
> thanks! xoxo


End file.
